Come end of May, when the public school children get out and are traipsing through my neighborhood, my children get the bug. You know the one. They can’t think straight, can’t sit still for five minutes, and swear they have to go to the bathroom for the fifth time in an hour. I’m sure public school teachers deal with the same restless feelings in their students. The good news for teachers, though, is they have a sabbatical of sorts… ahhh summer! However, we as homeschool parents -- dare I say home teachers -- don’t get this break, because we can’t send the children home for two months; they are already there!
Which brings me to my topic: Homeschool Burnout. Believe it or not, when I started my homeschool journey I was excited, enthusiastic, empowered! I was going to do a fabulous job teaching my children at home, and I was going to be supermom! (Cue the cheesy superhero music)
Reality set in about half way through the year. Children crying, schedules that didn’t quite mesh, curriculum that wasn’t working, kids having unteachable moments and... and... Well, I’ll let you use your imagination. Sometimes the best-laid plans are thrown asunder due to the differing personalities of all the family members. So then, Mom (who doubles as teacher, cook, superhero) freaks out.
Yes, I said it. I freak out.
What if I am screwing up my children’s education? What if they aren’t learning the right stuff? Will I have to put them in public school next year? Will they pass their end-of-year tests? Will we complete our school year on time…? PANIC.
Panic gives way to stress… then the stress leads right up to the burnout door. Would it surprise you if I said over half of homeschool parents suffer from burnout once or twice in their homeschooling career? Some of us suffer it once or twice a year!
How do you recognize burnout?
Burnout can rear its ugly head in a variety of recognizable ways -- feeling overwhelmed, anger, muscle pain, crying easily (I don’t mean the kids), lack of patience, irrational decision-making, no sense of priorities, and even lack of a social life (for Mom). When I am burned out, I want everyone to go away and not talk to me for at least twenty-three hours of the day.
How do you combat burnout?
When I was going through this a few years ago, I read some helpful articles on burnout. I felt better knowing I was not alone. Many people struggle with burnout, and knowing it wasn’t just me wanting to give up was freeing. If you are feeling the stress of burnout, here is what works for some people.
First, escape to your favorite hideout -- coffee shop, bookstore, your closet … you know the place. Bring a pad of paper and a calendar of your previous three months. If you are like me, this is a color-coated road to insanity. Look over your calendar and list everything expected of you during the day, week, month, and don’t forget to include five days a week for school. That is almost 25 days out of your month you have something to do. When I made my list, I was only about a tenth of the way through when I realized my stress had been brought on by ME! I was the main reason I was so burnt out. Schooling three children and trying to keep up with all the activities we were involved in was nuts!
Once you have your INSANE list, it’s time to make the sane one. This is where creative thinking comes into play. Look through your list and mark the important stuff, such as school, church, etc. I used 5s for “important” and 1s for “can eliminate."
Now compile a new list using the original. Write down the 4/5s from your list, but after every five items you must add something JUST FOR YOU. Read a book for 30 minutes, go window shopping, get your hair done, lock yourself in the bathroom for 20 minutes, watch your favorite TV show, go to a ballgame with your husband, get a manicure, go to the gym, go for a walk, go to the movies, etc. I’m serious about this list. You MUST have you time in this new list. MUST! This is not an option.
The last part is the scariest, something I gasp at every time. Make sure all the 5s are transferred over to the new list, then rip the old list into bits and pieces. I am releasing you from doing any of the 1-3s for the rest of the week… maybe even month.
Gasp! But that means my floor won’t be mopped! The floor can wait, or have a child/husband do it. But my laundry might stack up. Hey, dirty clothes are dirty clothes. They will still be there when you are ready for them. But that means… Okay, enough excuses.
Burnout happens when we over-schedule and stress ourselves out over things that make us feel guilty when not accomplished. We are in charge of our own lives. If someone doesn’t like seeing your unmopped floor, tell them to come back next week.
Successfully moving beyond burnout depends on you. Make your list, make time for yourself, and I hope you pass through the darkness and into the light to remember why you chose to homeschool in the first place.
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More articles by this author
Why I Started Homeschooling
Homeschooling and Socializing
What is a Homeschool Co-op?
