It is not enough to tell your children "good job" and "good night." Quick surface oriented communication is not what drives the needs and desires of your children.
As a father, you can't come home from work and plop down in front of the television with your children and call that interaction. I realize this is a dynamic that is repeated often these days in households across the nation, but we are missing the boat when it comes to raising well-rounded children.
Your relationship with your child is only as good as what you are willing to invest. If you limit yourself to cursory conversations stolen during station breaks, all you will have to show for your time and effort later in life is a distant, detached relationship with your son or daughter. There needs to rise up in the United States today a commitment to personal, one-on-one time interaction with each child. Fathers need to be involved in what is happening in school, on the playground, in gym class, in the neighborhood, and with the siblings.
Why? Because we are losing our youth to the machinations of those who would manipulate them to their own wants or desires. Advertisers crave their loyalty, criminals recruit them on the street in front of your house, friends lead our children down dangerous paths, and television bends their minds away from reality. Children are put on auto-pilot each and every day with game systems, television and the internet as their babysitters. This is happening from the earliest of ages, and people who want their future attention are making plays for their minds now.
Even as you read this, someone, or some corporate entity is vying for your child's attention. If you aren't doing the same, you are losing a battle you aren't even fighting. These battles are critical to the decisions your child will make in life. How will your child choose a mate? Where and how will she live? What level of education is important to him? Can your child be seduced by the fantasies portrayed on television? There are many people out there counting on it.
As a father, you have more power to influence your child than anyone else on earth. This is not to discount mothers. They have an equal ability to influence their children. Most mothers make the attempt, many fathers don't. Providing for your family is a good and noble task. You don't have to be some derelict father to let your children down. You need to be an attentive father - one who encourages achievement. You should be a father who takes an interest in every aspect of your child's life. This is done through communication.
Did you know you can encourage your child simply by sitting down with him or her and interacting, whether it is in a game, a conversation, or a shared experience? By shared experience, I mean a ball game, a play, a walk in the park, a meal together. These things generate casual conversation; conversation that is not a parent laying down the law or enforcing household rules. This is conversation that stirs the mind to ask questions and lends your child the comfort and encouragement that you are approachable.
The day of the gruff and distant father needs to be put to rest. Today's children need a father's positive, encouraging guidance more than any previous time in history. Too much information and pulls at our children's loyalties are pressing them hard in today's techno-world. If nothing else, a child needs someone to talk to that he/she can trust. There is no one better suited than a mother and father. Fathers should take this role most seriously. Be in tune with your child. Engage in casual conversation and interact on positive levels on a daily basis.
Guide your children through the pitfalls today's fast-paced world will throw at them. This is more important than anything else you may do for them. Encourage your children to interact with you, and you win victories over battles that never need happen.
By Michael Ray King
Reprinted with permission from http://www.daddy123.com
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