Parenting has become more complicated in the last 30 years.

What used to work, "Wait until your father get’s home!" is long gone and parenting has become a big business. Just walk into any bookstore and you’ll see dozens of books on how to control your angry child. Some of the information is great, but often times these "systems" are complicated and difficult to implement.

If you are one of those parents who are walking on eggshells around your teen because you are afraid of the next blow up, then read on.

It really isn’t hard, it’s actually simple and boring. And that is why most parents struggle with getting their kids to calm down. Take the steps outlined below to diffuse your teen’s anger or explosive attitude, and you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to transform your child’s antagonistic approach to everyday life.

1. Stay calm: Imagine you are a robot and you are up for the Academy Award. You cannot show emotion or you will not be nominated. So breathe in and out a lot. Say as little as possible.

2. No lecture: Lectures put teens into the zone of tuning out. All they hear is, “Blah, blah, blah." They also feel shamed, which can lead to explosive outbursts. It also saves you from expending energy. We are all trying to watch our carbon footprint these days…save on your parent energy!

3. No questions: Questions put teens on the defensive and they feel backed into a corner. This will provoke them to lash out and become very angry. No one likes to be on the hot seat. If you have to ask questions, ask open-ended ones such as, “What was the best part of your day?”

4. Be clear: Don’t go on and on. Use as few words as possible to make your point. Teens will tune out after about 5 words. Do an experiment. Keep talking at your teen and observe the glazed over look. You’ll know exactly what I am talking about.

5. Name the behavior: Example… “Please, remove your hand from your hip. Please don’t roll your eyes, that is disrespectful.” Naming the behavior makes your expectation even clearer.

6. Don’t give up until the teen stops: Every time the teen comes back with another remark, repeat what you just said: “Please do not speak to me that way, it is disrespectful.”

7. Do not banish: Don’t send your teen to his/her room. This sends out the signal that you don’t care, or you want to get rid of your child. (The latter may be true, but it still stings!)

8. Follow: If the teen walks away from you, call him/her back. If there is no response, follow. That means if your teen goes to his/her room, go there and keep talking, or if your teen leaves the house, get in the car and go after your child.

9. Visual Reminders: Use post-its, screen savers, etc…to remind yourself to stay calm. “I am a calm parent, and I get results.”

10. Correct with love and guidance: Show that you care by hanging in there and not losing it, use “please” and “thank you” when correcting.

Print this article out and make yourself cue cards with the bolded words. Put these cards in places where you will see them and be reminded of why you decided to have kids in the first place!